Natural Hair

This isn't cute anymore:

I’m 31, the new 30 and I’m closer to my goal than when I started this blog. Now I’m trying to stay on the path that will get me healthy and on the other side of the clothing store. I’ve had my revenge moments and they felt great. Now I’m ready for more of those great moments, maybe this year I’ll propel down something, who knows. But I’m held back by 40 less things.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

T minus 31, Tuesday Consult this

Dr Fit was right numerous means too many to count and we’re taking your gallbladder. I must say I’ve enjoyed all of the doctors and their staff that I’ve dealt with during this. They couldn’t be nicer, just wish it wasn’t expensive to get something done you don’t want done.

My cousin wanted to know why my sister wasn’t going with me and to I was honest, I only wanted to worry about me today. To say I’m not looking forward to this is an understatement. But I have time to come to terms with it, it’s just scary. And I do not like hospitals, good thing I most likely will not have to spend the night. I’m also I’m not in constant pain and it isn’t urgent, and that I have health insurance and an FSA to put my portion of the cost into.

When I left the office and got the info I needed I had to fight the urge to eat my emotions at the burger king, McDonald’s, taco bell and Popeye’s. I had my kasha meal, but I did break and broke hard. I ate my stress and anxiety in the form of 2 glazed donuts (it was the same cost if I just got one and sharing wasn’t an option after I took a bite of the second one and a tall eggnog latte (I’ve stopped getting a grande) oh and 2 snicker minis, I just wanted to have chocolate coat my mouth. If it were possible to have fried chocolate that’s what I would have had (if fried chocolate is possible DO NOT tell me about it). I knew what I was doing and didn’t/couldn’t stop myself. Now I’m really full drinking water and feeling sluggish. But I have my gym clothes and will put this food in the journal because I’m being accountable and I can’t hide from it.

On a fitness note, I am really enjoying yoga, I’m not that limber, but I always feel good and relaxed after. I like it at the end of a good cardio session.

Monday, November 29, 2010

RRPAF: Random Ramblings Post About Feelings

I don’t like apple pie, I’ve tried, it’s a no go on cooked fruit especially in pie form; awesome one less dessert to be destroyed by me. And I can only describe my feeling towards him as that slice of apple pie I want. There is no reason for it; I cannot make sense of it at all. I know the argument about the heart/feelings not being rational, but come on! It goes against everything I thought I knew about myself, so much so that I’ve told no one that knows him or would ever know him, you guys and my cousin who knows all my secrets. This is hard because sometimes I get an urge to just talk about him, so this is my outlet and here goes.
Do you think he likes me? I wonder what he’s doing. Should I call him? Or text him? I’d poke him on facebook, but that will get real dirty real fast. Why isn’t he trying to get with this, doesn’t he know how awesome I am? Because I’m awesome, I’d be an awesome as hell girlfriend…or needier than either of us is comfortable with. Oh, just so we’re clear, he has done nothing wrong or broken my heart and he does know I exist. LOL I’m glad I got all of that out. And I will close this entry with my favorite “Girl, forget him” poem.

Heart, we will forget him!

Heart, we will forget him!
You an I, tonight!
You may forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.

When you have done, pray tell me
That I my thoughts may dim;
Haste! lest while you're lagging.
I may remember him!
-Emily Dickinson

T minus 32, Monday

Just another manic Monday, sing it with me.

Woke up with 12 minutes to get out the door, decided today I would be dropping my niece off at school because we are not making the bus. I am hopeful and pack a gym bag. I don’t think LA Boxing is where I should be, but there’s an elliptical with my name on it and a yoga mat that needs to be broken in some more.

I also recorded my food and that also tells me that I need to take my butt to the gym; I need to burn these extra calories and fast. I use to be on the elliptical every day for at least 30 minutes and it would give me a tangible number, not a guestimate. I pray for pain free knees. While in the bathroom, I did I squat and it sounds better, not 100%, but I figure the elliptical would be easy on my knees and if not, I’ll be blasting the guns and abs.

33 calories away from goal, but I'm sure i made that up in Yoga.

T minus 33 Sunday

I woke up early again, no use in getting use to sleeping in until my life of leisure is confirmed by my marriage to an ultra wealthy man whose greatest joy is my happiness. A while back my friends and I signed up for Living Social deal, 4 Yoga sessions and a spa treatment. And they expire soon, so today was the first day of our yoga classes. It was different than the Yoga classes I’ve been to before, she read passages from a book. I enjoyed it nevertheless, but I was lusting after the gym and the equipment. It was the fancy kind of place with robes, towels and toiletries for your use, in case you forgot something, not just that green soap that’s also shampoo and conditioner and body wash. Next time I’m going to see about going early to get in some time on those fancy machines and stay late and use everything they put out, twice. Maybe just stay long in the steam room.

After we stretch and centered ourselves we when out for brunch and this is when I completely lost my ever loving mind. I ordered, and I hand to God I saw nothing wrong with this, stuffed pancakes. Stuffed with what? Bacon. Bacon stuffed fluffy made by God’s grandma pancakes with syrup. They were delicious; I regret nothing, except the nap it induced and the weight it’s added to me.

I got home and had a list of things to do, but the couch called to me and I answered, “Yes, dear I will spend the afternoon with you, but just for a little while, I have so much to do.” Cut to 4 hours later and I’m waking up and its dark out and I’m just motivated enough to have more sides over white rice and carry myself up to bed.

T minus 34 Saturday

Right now as I reflect on Saturday I think the only thing I recall is that I loved all of the sides and pie a little too much. I was supposed to have family over, but they never came and then I was suppose to go out, but I washed my hair instead and then went all out on the girlie stuff. Cracked open a bottle of wine, deep conditioned my hair, Mary Kayed my face with the microderm abrasion set (I’m a “beauty consultant”) and satin handed my hands and feet and then did a full body scrub. I’ve never been softer or with less skin before in my life and it felt wonderful.

I also watched Leap Year. Sweet Jesus! I blame that movie for what happened to the wine. Now I’m all for a good Rom Com (Love Actually season is upon us), but even for me it was a bit much. I’ve also recently seen When in Rome and I think that was worse because there was no Irish accent to tickle my ears.

All in all I sexfoliated myself and was a bump on a log with rollers and wine and it was good.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

T Minus 35, Black Friday

And waited some more. 4am was not early enough as there were people who were there on Wednesday, one of whom were BEHIND me in line, he stopped to get a cart before finding the computer line, I figured I would figure a way. So I get in the store and am ushered to another line, a slow moving line. I have my ad I know what I’m getting I’m ready. By hour 2 I’m annoyed with the people in front of me. It was an interchanging family, which I didn’t believe, but they all dropped out so it was like they didn’t exist. And then there was the older guy who kept leering at the younger girl of the interchanging family and he seemed to be the hall monitor. We were in the isles people were shopping, not trying to cut in front of you.

Around 2.5 hours I remember that iPhone has Netflix watch it now and I decide to revisit She-Ra and sat on the floor and nodded off every oncve in a while. Then we got to the spilt, left to TVs right to computers, more sitting, more waiting more of the hall monitor calling the staff on voucher sellers. Those little urchins were up early. Hour 3 I go back to music and make a seat out of a display. Hour 3.5 I sit on the bottom shelf and I’m amazed that I fit, can hug my knees and can get up.

Magical moment, I get to the head of the line, I see where I tell the employee what I want and they give it to me and send me to check out, sweet lord yes, no additional line to stand in I’m over the moon, until the line enforcer tells us they are out of Toshibas. What the fuck you mean you’re out of Toshibas? I don’t remember life not in this line, but I know my purpose was to get this Toshiba, Jonathan. I said that on the inside, but told him I was furious and I may or may not knock something over and start an uprising. I quickly scanned the ad and found the better model for 50 more and asked if they had that and they did and that is what I got so I spent a little more than I intended, but got a good laptop for it, which is still in the box.

I got home around 10 after an unbelievably quick stop at Wal-Mart and took a nap before I meet up with a friend for lunch. It turned out to be her birthday and it turned into a walk through a mall and trying on ridiculous clothes and we patted ourselves on the back for not losing it and not crying. Well, we cried a little when we saw that Hilary Duff wrote a book and read the jacket.

Still full from the Pho I was in bed by 7 and asleep shortly thereafter.

T minus 36, Thursday Thanksgiving

I woke up around 9 to an empty house. My sister and niece made last minute (10 pm) plans to go elsewhere for Thanksgiving. Now before you go feeling sorry for me, don’t. I know the holidays are about family and I did see family, but I felt lighter moving about my day. I cooked all of the thanksgiving food, without someone over my shoulder giving helpful tips or just in the way. I played the music I wanted at the volume I wanted. It was nice and peaceful. I kept to my schedule and hit all my stops, Grandma, Uncle, Aunt, Aunt, Nephew, and other Nephew and was at my friend’s house by 9 with more than enough time to hang out.

My eating was not bad; I really just like the sides and the future sandwiches. Since I cooked I was full from the tasting. I only had one real meal and I didn’t pile my plate up, just what fit got on the plate. I was still sad about not doing the race, but there will be other races and I’d rather have a good knee than a bad knee.

I did go over board with the candy. Around midnight I decided that I was going to stay up to go to Best Buy’s Black Friday and I was riding a sugar high when got into line and I put on my head phones and waited and then waited.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

T minus 37

My knee is better and I’m really considering doing the turkey trot, even if I walk most of it I think I should be fine, right? I'm just not comfortable with not doing this, but I want to listen to my body. I’ll have to put my knee on the list of things to talk about at my physical on the 2nd. So far eating has been less than stellar, my department ordered breakfast since we’re here and it’s the day before a national holiday. So many comments to be made, but I enjoy have 2 days off and seeing family I haven’t seen in a while and not getting small pox.

I know my tone hasn't been the perkiest, but I have not given up the good fight. I'm still in it, just not whole heartily at the moment. I've takem a few hits is all. But I'm coming back with giving away my fat jeans because they slide off without unbuttoning and my pink coat swallows me.


Seems as though I will not be running tomorrow or walking. In all the excitement of doing the race I failed to actually sign up for the race. I'm a weird mix of relieved and dissapointed. I will just think that someone is watching out for me, making sure I don't screw myself up anymore...there's a 12/31 afternoon 5K.

T minus 38, Tuesday

Work was super stressful and I ate my feelings a little bit. And all I wanted to do was workout and sweat out the stress, but was scared to mess with knee, is there any good non knee using cardio? And I had a lot to do and a long lunch wouldn’t have helped matters.

T minus 39, Monday

First things first, I haven’t had any gallbladder pain in about a week, besides a few pangs every now and again, nothing that lasted more than 5 minutes, YAY! Second, my knee feels wrong, but a different wrong. There’s a popping sound, it doesn’t hurt, but I’m aware of my knee. Does this mean the Turkey trot is off? I was looking forward to this one, my first solo run. I already have my frame ready for my number. I don’t want to punk out, but I don’t want to mess up my knee anymore than it is. BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

T minus 40, Sunday

What’s that sound? Do you hear it? I hear it when I walk up steps or do a squat, don’t you hear that? Ugh.

T minus 41, Saturday

All I wanted was to go to kickboxing and then run a few errand including a trip to old navy to get some new work out t-shirts because mine are now funk heat activated and too big. I wake up in enough time to miss the work out, but that’s okay I can work out later. I’m so lazy and sore from jump squats and Segway that I text my sister Kim who lives with me and who was probably feet away asking if she wanted in and after some strong coffee we were off with the understanding that this would last a few hours. We would be home around 3 because it was 10:30…we got home at 8pm! Does shopping count as cardio? It’s got to the way I do it. I found more stuff for my sister and niece, but I got my 5 dollar work out shirts and a book. In all fairness to the time thing, we did go to super Wal-Mart and get Thanksgiving Day food. What a calorie trap that’s going to be. But I have my turkey trot.

T minus 42

I no longer scream in pain when using my body! Awesome, but still not going back for more torture. Today is one my best friend’s birthday. Happy Birthday Celine! Our other two friends are out of town for a wedding, but I had already called dibbs and strongly suggested they surprised her with a birthday dinner since they weren’t going to be around. But tonight is my night to surprise her and make her dream come true, a segway tour of DC. Granted we lived there for years I think she just wanted to ride the segway so we rode the segways for three hours! Yes, a three hour tour. At first I was not at all comfortable it, much live roller skating but after awhile I got the hang of it and it was fun, but then there was like another 2 hours left and it was cold. We had that guy in the group that wanted to go fast and zoom around. It would have been fine if he didn’t insist on cutting everyone off. Dear Sal, if there are 10 people behind you crossing the street and you get to the sidewalk, don’t stop right there two feet from the curb, move your ass back as half of the group isn’t in the street, we shouldn’t have to ask you that, thank you. Sorry I was holding that in. Around hour 2 I discover if we had to vote someone off everyone would have voted him off. “Sal the Segway Tour has spoke, please dismount your segway and walk back to the office, no no keep the helmet on.” It was really cold and zipping around the city did not help with the wind chill factor. We warmed up in the bathroom at the Lincoln Memorial, how you ask, under the hand dryers!

We finished up the tour with some taunting from the locals of course and I was never so glad to get off of anything before in my life. Then we headed to a Mexican dinner at Rosa Mexicana. Celine likes Mexican food, but her husband does not, just Taco Bell which is neither Mexican nor food, so we figured we’d treat her to some top of the line Mexican food. By we I mean me and Susie, she joined the festivities. The food was better than I thought it would be and the portions were appropriate sized, not 10 dollars for a serving platter full of fried cheese covered food.

T minus 43

I cannot use the toilet without bracing myself on the sink and window sill, I took the day off from the gym. From my calves to my gluts was sore and I was lulled to sleep by the sweet smell and calming tingle of icy hot.

T Minus 44 Wednesday

So sore, but I must solider on. It seems they’re all about the jumping jacks this week and I am not. At least my undergarments are, the ladies are strapped down. Oh and jump squats, I keep hearing they’re the best cardio you can do and I just have to say, at least they aren’t lunges.

and then T minus 45 Tuesday

Had a good workout at LA Boxing, seriously considering paying for some PT, I’m just scared of it and it’s expensive, maybe I’ll buy 1 session and see what happens. We had to do burpees and my instructor mocked my push up in the middle, I don’t blame him, they aren’t good at all, but hey there was a time I couldn’t do either part of those things. Then we had to walk the length of the gym, maybe 20-30 steps with 2 heavy weights. It was like one of the last episodes of any weight loss show, this is the weigh you’ve lost now walk with it. I didn’t cry or anything because I was concentrating on not dropping them on my foot and beating the other girl in the class. Yes I am a little competitive. My eating’s been good, but I need to record everything if I’m going to really get back on track. And get a food scale for the office.

I seem to be more sporadic these days; I've started a few posts and then nothing. Like this one:

Thursday and Friday I just wasn’t feeling up to much, but did watch my food, then I woke up Saturday and it was sunny and opened my shades and promptly felt better and feel back asleep. Then I was lazy and caught up on some tivo on the couch snuggled in my down comforter just long enough to watch some crime drama, CSI and Bones. It was a little afternoon and I had a strange feeling. It was more of a craving and I thought I knew what it was, but ignored my first thought because I considered it crazy and outlandish and as I was getting dress to take my niece to a birthday party I realized I was dressing for the gym. My craving was a work out, just crazy. I dropped Jazzy (Jasmine) off and went to the gym and had a good time.
I jumped rope for the length of American Boy by Estelle to warm up then got on the treadmill. I paced it at 4.7 because I thought maybe I could do a 5k. When I got to 1.5 miles I decided to pause the machine and do some pushups and crunches. I looked up and the lady on the elliptical kind of gave me that approving head nod of my choice. Then I hoped back on. I was planning my next interlude when I decided on planks, front and sides at mile 2. Well, apparently I took too long and my session timed out. I have no idea how many calories were burned and I freaked out a bit, but I let it go. I felt good, my knees didn’t feel funny and I decided some more ab work and a good stretch were in order.
I weighed myself and I came in at 223! Not the 228 the doctor’s office said I weighed, but who do I believe?

Saturday, November 13, 2010


I was asked for photos and I think everyone has finally posted their photos to Facebook so here goes.

Let's start back in the beginning when I was just heavy. This one is from March on this year. It was my friend's birthday and it was raining, that's what's on my glasses.

This is from a going away party late last year, I love that dress. I still have it even though it doesn't really fit.

This one is almost a year exactly because here we are surprising a friend on her birthday which is 11/19. I also like how I was bold with my animal print lol

I'm including this one because I really like what my hair is doing here

This is from when I did the fat smash and exercised maybe 3 times a week. It was New Years Eve 2008 to 2009, I think...if you remember you weren't there, but this is when I was smaller before I gained the weight plus some back (see above photos).

Now for some recent photos.

This is a special one for me. This is my first ever strapless dress and Jessica Simpson's clip in bangs. This was the bachelorette party that was at the hotel with the fancy gym equipment I couldn't work right.

This one is from later in the evening and I'm going to share a little secret, that jacket is kind of tight on the boobs, but I love it so.

These 2 are from the wedding ceremony. Normally I don't like ruffles on my chest because they are an attraction on their own, but I just liked this dress. I bought it in the size I'm use to buying my clothes in, 20 and had to have it taken in to around a 16.

These are from the reception, the outside one is getting ready to go and the vampy bathroom shot is me leaving (in a cab) after enjoying the open bar's Marker's Mark.

Thanks guys!

I'm less freaked out about my gallstones and I am happy to know what's causing the pain. I have a follow up surgical consult on the 30th, it's the earliest and to be honest I'm not really in a rush to get the ball rolling on this. Although, it would be nice not to have that weird ache in my side and perhaps I'm not lactose in tolerant.

Thinking back to when this first started happening is when I was taking a full course load at NVCC (Northern Virginia Community College) and working full time. I would get home 4 nights a week too late to eat a real meal so I usually had cereal and ended up losing a bit of weight, enough to close my fingers around my wrist. And that was more than 3 years ago. I wonder if they can tell, like some kind of cholesterol dating as opposed to carbon dating.

The good news is that I have insurance and there's some funky math, but if I understand it correctly I'm covered up to the first 7500 for any medical attention and this is the first I'm going to the doctor this year. (I was cleared to exercise late last year). The surgical doctor has a billing department on site do I'll have more answers then.

Funny thing about the phone call, besides the fact that I made the appointment for the sonogram while still in exam room, but waited HOURS to even call the referral. But the lady that took my call was super sweet and half Dominican as well. Needless to say I think I made a friend because Dominican women love our hair salons and we're not a huge community here in the Northern Virginia area, not like in NYC. So we bonded over hair salons and food. She is the first person outside of NYC to know what I when I talk about cuchifritos which are the most wonderfully thing from my childhood in NYC. It's deep fried pork with plantains (plantanos, twice fried green bananas) and my dad would squeeze lime juice all over it. Sweet lord what I wouldn't give for a plat of that...and for it to magically be healthy.

I will keep you posted

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

This club sucks - T minus 51

Scene: Open to a dimly lit exam room, the ultra sound has already been performed, the patient has already been pleasantly surprised by the warm jelly lube the technician used. The door opens…

Soft spoken Technician: “Congratulations! You belong to I have gallstones club”
Me: “Ughhhhh! I’m angry and relieved at the same time”

So I have gallstones, I’m following in Dr Fit's footsteps. Any pointers doc?

I’m not going to lie I’m a bit freaked out because I’ve had these pains for a while, I remember my mom comforting me because of this pain, but we thought it was just gas. Then we figured I’m probably just lactose intolerant. What if I’m not even lactose intolerant? Ugh. I don’t want surgery? How much is surgery? This is going to seriously mess with my workout schedule. I’ve already gained more weight than I’m comfortable with. *sigh* I will have to see who my referral is and follow up with them.

How many is “numerous” because that’s how many stones I have. I’m feeling better today, I barely notice the pain so I will get to sleep tonight, YAY! And I think until I’m told I have to be operated on I will not freak myself out about it and return to my workouts and make that follow up appointment and get some numbers on how much this will cost.

I stress ate my way through “numerous” snacks.

You again? T minus 52

So I woke up this morning with a familiar pang in my stomach. I had hoped it would go away but it lasted throughout the whole day and got worse when I tried to eat lunch. I was going to wait until my annual exam to discuss it, but my friends pointed out that this happened before and thinking back it has been a bit more frequent and the duration of each episode have been longer. So I went on WebMD and shortly thereafter I called my doctor’s office and made an appointment for that evening.

I got one for 4:15; I didn’t see my doctor until after 5:30, but whatever. I started to feel silly in that over an hour time I had waiting, what if I’m just not careful enough with dairy and I was just gassy. How embarrassing would that be? “Ma’am you seem to be gassy, please take this, but not near people.”

My doctor although busy, is awesome and we chatted, she asked some questions and then had her nurse take my blood, I was able to talk her into going straight for the back of the hand with a butterfly needle. I think I can name the needle I should be able to have it used. My veins roll and I’ve had some bad experiences that left me looking like a heroine addict. I asked about pain meds because I’ve had this pain before and I knew I would not be able to sleep tonight and I was already tired. But I got never got the call and even called the pharmacy to see if anything was called in and they just forgot to call me.

I have a 10am appointment with a radiologist to get an ultrasound on my abdomen. I’ll keep you posted.

Monday, November 8, 2010

So I finally took it to the streets, T minus 56 - 53

I was not terrible this weekend, but I was not good either. I slept in because it felt right, now my rooms a mess and I’ll be making my breakfast in the morning.

So it’s Monday and thinks went fine for a while. Then as I’m rallying for a evening of working out, Boxing, a mile run and yoga. I made excuses when I ate the pecans and then when I ate the cheese and then came time to change and I then I did it again, I made the excuse that I couldn’t work out because I didn’t have any socks. Now in my defense my feet sweat and I can’t handle the thought let alone the feeling of working out in sneakers with no socks, so I went home. On the way home, I got in trouble with myself for the excuse making, so I decided that I would get socks and workout and then I decided that I need to be taught a lesson. I need to learn that I can’t get away eating poorly and not working and giving such lame excuses. I have no socks!?! That’s the best I could? I bought a whole gym outfit once because I left my clothes. So for punishment for my lazy crimes against my progress I had to run…outside…around the whole block. The block is really huge; it encompasses 4 or 5 developments. It’s a total of 1.83 miles all the way around which I ran (with some walking, uphill) in 24:12.

One good thing about daylight savings is that it’s dark, but not late so people don’t are around, but can’t see the entire jiggle. I enjoyed running and watching my shadow slightly ahead of me. At times I had a nice rhythm going and my mind did clear, but then I my calf would tighten too much or I’d need to breathe better and get taken out of the zone. I’m just excited that I finally took it to the streets and ran outside. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, because the end of it was slightly down hill. The only issue I had or have is my breathing. I managed to sharply breathe in very cold air, so now my throat hurts, but it’s a good hurt. After my run I hightailed it over to the gym for yoga. Yoga helps because part of my overall goal is to be more flexible. I’m a long way off from the splits, but yoga is such a nice way to end a work out and the day.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thoughts for the day, T minus 58, 57

So roller skating still isn’t yet for me and that’s a huge part of roller derby. I’m just scared of it and old because I said the following.
1. The music is too loud.
2. Who is this?
3. They’re skating too fast.
So maybe I’ll put some skates on one day, but not right now.

Works been crazy and I’ve let that be the reason I haven’t made it to the gym except for Monday and Tuesday. Am I tired and working until 8pm? Sure but I could have done something even if it just burn 100 calories. I could have also eaten better, but damnit people I not strong against the mini left over Halloween candy. Those poor discarded candy that didn’t make the trick or treat cut, my eating them was a humanitarian effort…yeah, I figured if I was going to bullshit it should be really good.

I start off strong, egg beaters with spinach and mushrooms on a double fiber whole wheat English muffin. Then I’m no the slippery slop that’s greased with stress and a little sleepiness for good measure. I get a cup of coffee, with splenda and some creamer, flavored creamer, 1, 2 or 3.

I think something that didn’t help was not blogging or not reading my blogs. I started catching up on my favorites and I feel like I’ve missed out on my best friends lives and there was also a twinge, a pang of jealousy at the progress my ladies have been making with me. I also wanted to be back in that club. Funny that’s the thing I missed most, my blog group.

I need to recommit to this, to me and make new goals. It’s almost a month to my birthday and I will not be able to lose 25 pounds by then, so. What shall my new goal be? What it is every month Pinky, to be 219 or less. *sigh*

But I don’t want to ignore the progress I’ve made thus far. For one thing I’m a size 14/16, I’ve maybe once gotten down to a 16/18. And holy rusted metal ground, Batman! I run now!

I’m tired and will probably reread this post and edit/delete it. So good night all

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

T minus 59, will I make a dream come true?

At the wedding reception I meet a very interesting and nice lady. She belongs to a Roller Derby league and invited me to stop by and check it out. I’m not sure if I mention my last time on roller skates but the party ended when I was looking up at the ceiling, flat on my back. But since then I had seen Whip It and watching it I had this feeling of “I want in”. I’ve only ever really gotten that feeling when I saw a couple salsa dancing with ease and sexuality, but then I remember how poorly my prior experience went and how even in my younger days I wasn’t a great skater. The breaking always seemed counter intuitive so to stop I would slow down and WHOMP! slam into the side wall by the exit. So graceful, I know. But I’m thinking that I’m probably going to fall a lot more in life and why not fall doing something I could really enjoy and be good at. And yes the part I really responded to was the clotheslining and hitting part, but I’ve always had a “contact sport” streak in me. I hope to get out of work at a decent hour to go check that out.

As for that workout that is to be followed up with running a mile, I did it! Mikey had use do a circuit of stations again. First were sit ups, my back has gotten stronger so these didn’t hurt as much as soon. Then there was something new, The Speed Skater. This exercises made me feel terribly uncoordinated and jiggly in the thigh area, but it worked the inner and outer thighs.

Next up were the beloved burpees, which apparently he’s added the push up to. Side note, before my hiatus when ever we had to do push ups I did the first 5 real woman style, on my toes. The most consecutive pushup I did was 10. So when you’re in the pushup position is when you do it.

Then there was the “bench jump”, which is just jumping onto a weightlifting bench. Now my vertical isn’t that high, but my clumsiness in a gym setting is so I did step ups, Mikey came over to correct my form, I was stepping up into a squat position, but in order to get out of that exercise what he intended I had to stand all the way up and squeeze the glutes, why did I say “Got, I’m lock the ass...LOCKED”? I guess I’m just getting comfortable; at least he got the reference, at the very least the joke and laughed.

Next was the horizontal pull up, we had done this before and I think I did a total of 5, but during one round I did 20! I would love to do a pull up so I can earn my badass badge, but this is what it looks like.

Then a 30 second break and we did it all over again. There’s this one guy that’s become a regular and then me and then oddly enough always 2 ladies that don’t know each other, but never the same 2 ladies. We ended with burpees and the guy and I both agreed that we could throw up a little, but it was a good workout. Then I went to fancy gym for my mile run, a weigh in and a shower.

Now I’m off to see if I have what it takes to be a roller derby girl. As for names, I was thinking Chestee La Rue or Babycakes

T minus 60? Goodness where did the time go?

Okay so I weighed myself after taking what feels like years off from the gym and I’ve gained the Wedding 2.5. I’m back to 225. I can’t even be mad at those same 2.5 pounds; we’ve gotten so close over the past few months lol. Monday night (last night) that old feeling came back. You know the one, where you look over at your gym bag and curse it’s completeness because had it been incomplete you would have had an out. Then think of the wonderful world of laziness that does not include a workout, but includes tv and a couch and either bad food or bad portions. Mmmmmmm House and chips, yeah baby. Then my favorite big brother’s (I’ve only got the one older brother, the other one is younger) voice pops out of nowhere “they say when you don’t want to go to the gym is when you should go to the gym”. Rat Bastard I yell and shake my fist to the sky while I grab my bag and go change. Once I have on the workout gear, I have to work out, I don’t have stylish workout clothes (those cost money) so I can’t just hangout in them.

I get to my dear old LA Boxing and take the Boxing class. It seems like forever since I’ve seen Mikey and Lonnie and I missed those sadomachistic guys with their random playlist. Somewhere in the middle of the boxing class I decide that I should run after my workouts and I should make it at least a mile because I need to keep the cardio up and my endurance. So clearly at his point in the class I’m delirious, sweaty and not thinking clearly. The class ends and I get that itch and I head over to my other gym (I know, but I like having a gym that offers other classes and steam rooms) and the delirium takes a stronger hold on me. I decided to run until the 8pm yoga class because I need a good stretching. Hand to God that’s what my crazy behind thought and did! Long story short, since I did not go home I went hard.

I like Yoga despite my inability to do all the moves like the instructor and my head has yet to reach or touch anything not put to it. I have gotten more flexible which is exciting, in a perverted way of course. I head to the locker room for the dreaded first time in forever weigh in and the locker room is full and I’m in my drench workout clothes and I try to weigh myself, but refuse to accept the numbers I was told right then and decided that a mulligan was in order and I’d redo this after my workout on Tuesday. I was already on the right track with another workout planned and I knew that I was getting back into the routine. Then I went home had a healthy dinner and ate Halloween candy. I know, I;m weak, but seriously why didn’t more trick or treaters come? Why didn’t I dump that candy off at work? Why didn’t I just go to bed?

And thus ended my first day back. I felt so guilty about not posting that I didn’t allow myself to read other posts, so tonight I’m catching up and commenting! I will see if I can find any pictures of me from the wedding. I'm not the best at taking my own picture.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Why I hate halloween

This is at my coworker's desk, my evil co worker's desk

I am not dead

I am not dead, but apologetic for my absence. I’ve not giving up on life and resigned myself to the couch eating bagfuls of bulk chocolate candy, although at times it seem like a really fun activity. I have been less strict with my food, but still active. I’m still enjoying kickboxing and I’ve started running again. I think I get off on people witnessing my badassness, explains the blog.

We had C’s bachelorette’s party at the National Harbor. It was tame calm, but fun. There was tons of laughter and just a good time was had by allWe saw Cirque Du Soleil’s Ovo. Oh to be that flexible and then we had a steak dinner (I split a prime rib with a friend). We called it an early night and the next morning I decided to go see about this fancy hotel’s gym.

While the machines were state of the art they were not the easiest to work. Apparently it limited my speed to 4.7 based on my age perhaps, but it was frustrating to run at 4.7 while listening to Beyonce, I wanted to run to the music not this painfully slow speed, but after a bit I resigned myself to the speed and just kept going, with a visit from my roommates who were outside the gym smoking. And I realized as a stream of sweat snuck into my eyes burning and monetarily blinding me, that I had come a long way and I ended up running 3.2 miles (a little over 5K) in 25:56.

It’s just so much easier to run on a treadmill. I still haven’t taken it to the streets, but I do want to sign up for another race on Halloween morning. I think I’ll do this one alone and see how hard I can push myself. I’m sure I won’t get treadmill time, but hopefully it will be in the 40s, as long as it’s not in the 50s I’ll be happy.

Then came the wedding…

First thing’s first, the C, the Bride looked gorgeous, her mom mad her dress and there were many a touching moments. I found a cute dress that I had to have taken in before the wedding. There were a few people that I hadn’t seen in over a year and I was a surprise to them. The attention is lovely and awkward at the same time, while I’m flatter all I can think is wow, I must have been really really huge because I’m still a big girl. But I digress… the morning of the rehearsal we all milled about and I decided what better time to run than at 10am on a beach board walk. My roommate A came along, but when we hit the boardwalk informed me that she didn’t want to run in her shoes and her knee hurt and I was disappointed felt held back. After 5 minutes I decided that I would run a block and just wait for her which turned into running every other block and then running back to walk with her. I did break a sweat, but it wasn’t much. When we got back to the hotel I decided to check out their gym which was 3 sad machines that worked, sort of. The treadmill had a jerky movement that only went away when you ran, but it being VA Beach I doubted anyone really went to the hotel gym.

Then came the getting ready and the dress didn’t fit there was a good inch and a half between the zipper in the back…but my dress fit perfectly. That was my roommates dress, she some how swelled up. I remember trying to keep my voice controlled and even as to not alarm her until we just couldn’t get the dress on her. We fought that thing onto and I’m still amazed it got on her, she told me later that she had a back up dress, but that it meant a lot to her to wear that dress to the wedding and I felt bad because there was a moment when I was relived it wasn’t me that couldn’t fit into my dress. My dress was fitted and I accepted the help of the Spanx gladly. I have a thin friend who says she sees spanx as cheating and while I can see her point I told her it must be nice to believe that. It smoothed out some misplaced curves.

This part contains not nice things and anger…

The thing about weddings is that it reunited friends from all over which is usually a good thing unless one of them betrayed you and made you feel silly for trusting them in the first place and then irrational for realizing the relationship was worth holding on to, sometimes a person can run out of forgivingness. Now I have hurt feeling and harsh words and try to hold my tongue. When I was asked what I thought when I saw her I could only respond “Nothing nice.” But I wanted to say so many things like:
It’s a nice dress too bad it can’t minimize her shoulders
It’s comforting some things don’t change, like her lumbering linebacker walk in heels.

Did I get to wear my wow dress? No, that bloodly thing still wont fit. Did I look better than her, I think so. Do I feel like I got my revenge? A little, but she left early which was fine because it freed me up to have a good time on the dance floor.

Now on to the reception….

The Bride C was just as stunning if not more so on the evening of the reception (a day after the VA Beach ceremony in Rosslyn). The space they got for the evening had an amazing view and they had the best food I’ve ever had at a wedding, but how do you not please with fillet mignon and lobster.

On to me. I wore the dress I wore at the last wedding I went to and it was a little loser, but fit just as well. My sister who took the picture said I was liable to go home with someone, but seeing how I had meet all of the Grooms friend I thought it was highly unlikely seeing how if nothing had happen yet, the wedding wasn’t going to change anything. Besides I’m looking for something a bit more real than a random wedding reception one night stand.