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This isn't cute anymore:

I’m 31, the new 30 and I’m closer to my goal than when I started this blog. Now I’m trying to stay on the path that will get me healthy and on the other side of the clothing store. I’ve had my revenge moments and they felt great. Now I’m ready for more of those great moments, maybe this year I’ll propel down something, who knows. But I’m held back by 40 less things.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

So close, I hope I don't fuck this up

So I'm 1.5 pounds away from my month end goal and putting me in the 230s and I am excited, but cautious so. I seem to self sabotage, I remember clearly years ago when I was doing WW (weight watcher for you newbies) and someone said, "Wow, you are getting skinny." and that's when I started putting on the pounds, is it some psychological thing, probably. Am I going to do that again, hell no! I deserve to lose weight to be healthier and to look good damnit. But I am cautiously happy, don't want to jinx it. But also, I really can't tell. When I look in the mirror all I can think is so I was bigger than this? Jeez....

But last week, the three times i made it to the gym I did reach my goal of burning 1000 calories a day and that Saturday I went to both of my gyms, kickboxing kicked my ass and I loved it, those guys are awesome and I have a crush on each and every one of them.

This week has been pretty good, i haven't gotten my 1000, but I've come close. I have a summer class and that started up, but if i dress for the gym to go to school I can squeeze in a 45ish min workout before they close. I'm having a hard time prioritizing, I know I should be more concerned with the homework for my class and it is a lot of work, but I'm putting me first here, is that a bad thing or is this the wrong me thing to put first. Time to write out a schedule.

Either way I am 1.5 pounds away from my goal with 11 days to make it and I’m feeling confidant. Question, do you ever have “not hungry” days. It took my hours to make it through my breakfast of fruit and dry cereal. Maybe I need to change it up a bit…

Monday, May 10, 2010

Getting back on track

So this week I’m starting fresh. My plan thus far, since mid March was to exercise at least once a day and eat well during the week. By well I mean something a kin to the detox portion of Fat Smash. I diet that helped me lose weight, but I treated as a diet that I eventually stopped eating by and gained back I believe more than what I stated out at, which is how diet math works. Restart weight is always more than previous start weight. My goal is to continue to eat detoxy-y during the day with a sensible dinner, doing my darnest to keep my caloric intake as close to 1200 without going under a day; while burning at least 400 calories a day. The 400 calories are doable on a 30 minute session on the elliptical. I would like to burn a thousand calories a day – I’m not sure if that’s crazy, doable or even advisable. And I’m not due to see any type of doctor until the end of the year, god willing. So I’m not sure if my goal is “advisable” so until I hear otherwise that will be my goal.
This past week I kind of went free and loose with it because of finals, midterms and study groups (read: excuses excuses excuses – my midterms did not call for Oreos). At first I didn’t understand how I gained 1.5 pounds, but thinking back to all the moments I ate without thought, I see clearly how that happened and not all of those moments were worth it, Panera, I’m looking at you. But I feel good about my new calorie loss goal, as long as I get 400 I’m happy, if I can get my 1000 a day I should be losing this food baby I’ve nurtured for some time now.

With that said I do have a few challenges coming up:
Lunch out for a co-worker’s graduation at a wing place
I get to eat the grilled chicken salad with no cheese, croutons or bacon – they really do make salads unhealthy

Dinner out with a friend to a really nice restaurant with cheese and meats and wine
Eat it, I’m not dead and I’m going to enjoy this meal, but I will fill up during the day on a butt load of leafy greens. They are filling and low in calorie. I will pace myself during the meal with water and try to avoid those creamy looking sauces…just going to try to avoid sauces all together. I will take a look at the menu before I go and try to figure out the calories and fat for what I plan to have. I will also be going to a boxing class the next day to work off any fat that might want to stick around.

Goal was achieved, 1271 burned with excerise and calorie intake was 1336!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

A Change came

I was staying with a friend who was also struggling with her own weight issues. We went to the gym together on Tuesday and continued about our day. At five o'clock we were at a lost as to what to do with our time and our options were to go to happy hour or go home, but I offered up the idea of "Two-a-day-Tuesday", that was March 23rd. Since then I've been determined to contiune going to the gym, I've pumped up my twice a week to 5-6 days a week. I went through some apps on my iphone and settled on MyNetDiary, its free and informative.

So I am currently working out most weekdays for lunch and keeping my daily calorie intake during the the week as close to 1200, during the weekendf I am lax, but I've noticed I don't really crave those bad things and I've gotten better at protion control. To date I have lost 15 pounds and I'm happy to be out of the 250s. My next goal is to lose 10% of my starting weight (I use to do weight watchers back in the day), 26 pounds, by the end of May which puts me at 236 by May 31st. My long term goal is to be an even 200 pounds at the start of my birthday month of December.

The begining

One evening, while working late at my very sedentary job, which I loved and I moved my arm to my side and felt a fat roll that wasn't there before. I had noticed the enlargement of my tire a few weeks prior, but ignored it because that just couldn't be true, it must be the way I'm sitting/standing/laying. But that November evening there was no ignoring the fact that I was getting fatter. I shut down my computer and headed straight to the gym by my job. I didn't bother with the tour all I could think was I NEED to do something about this.

No one said anything about my weight gain, but again, I had noticed parts of me were bigger and clothes were tighter. I was shocked when I went to the doctor's in and found out that my weight was (I can't believe I'm going to tell you this) 265. I think my heaviest was 25x and here I was about to turn 30 with bad eating, drinking and partying habits.

I made some small changes and tired to get to the gym 3-5 days a week and possibly made it about 2 times a week. I had a follow up appointment and I had lost a whopping 3 pounds in a month. I let that discourage me and I ate my feelings as I had so many times before. And I kind of gave up on myself for a while...again.