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This isn't cute anymore:

I’m 31, the new 30 and I’m closer to my goal than when I started this blog. Now I’m trying to stay on the path that will get me healthy and on the other side of the clothing store. I’ve had my revenge moments and they felt great. Now I’m ready for more of those great moments, maybe this year I’ll propel down something, who knows. But I’m held back by 40 less things.

Friday, August 27, 2010

8/26/10 – I got a fist bump!

So I was throwing another internal tantrum about going to the gym, this time for my lunch at La Boxing. It’s kickboxing and I enjoy it and it’s a great workout, but I wanted to be sedentary and I don’t know online shop at Amazon instead. But I put on my gym clothes and went. I was a few minutes late, but it looked like the same hated routine from Tuesday, awesome. I lucked out, there were no more 15 pound weights so I grabbed the 12 pounders, those 3 pounds make a world of difference. We started out with renegade rows 10 on each side and a push up in between, so a total of 20 – I still do them on my knees, hence the rug burn.

Then we do burpees or good mornings, I use to have to put one leg back at a time and forward again, but I can finally do these little bastards with some resemblance of the actual exercise.

Then to round out the circuit, we did power squats, now I’m okay with squats, I can do squats, but lord by the time you get to these and you have 12 pounds in each hand and sweat stinging your eye, it’s a bit harder.

That goes on for 25 minutes and our instructor tallies how many we complete. I did 7! And got a fist bump from one of the larger muscley men in my class! Because I did more than him! That was a proud moment for me in my class. And to think I didn’t want to go. I felt stronger too, way better than Tuesday. We finished up the class with combinations and ab work and it was a good workout. And my rug burn got re-burned and I now consider it my battle wound.

8/25/10 My thighs are spreading like rumors

I thought my day would be okay, I also thought I would do well with my eating and it would be a rest day for me. Fast forward to 2 o’clock and I’ve had mac n cheese and a slice of red velvet cake on top of the salad I had order for lunch. Stooopid office birthday lunches! She’s a nice girl and all, but she’s young and eats fast food for every meal I see her eat. Part of it is I’m jealous she can have a McDonald’s breakfast three times a week and her thighs still don’t touch. It just isn’t right. But she did reveal that she’s gained 10 pounds and can’t seem to stop eating. So even “thighs don’t touch” intern girl is having issues with food? I guess we all have our problems.

So I had already crashed from my sugar high and I put in extra hours at work and the last thing I wanted to do at 8 o’clock was go to the gym. I had already decided that with the knee issue a 20 minute run would be out of the question, but a 5, 8 and then 5 minute run with 3 minutes of walking between would be just fine. But lord knows I wanted to just go home and sit on the couch and eat something and then drift off to dreamland. I was chatting with a friend and she said whenever she felt that way she just says to herself “A, your thighs are spreading like rumors!” so I tried it and it kind of worked and is hilarious to boot, especially if you say it in an old Hollywood voice or Roger from American Dad.

So I did it, I ran Week 6 Day 1! I made it all the way through with just a touch of quitter talk. I’m almost up to 3 miles and I think a 5K is 3.1 miles so I think my goal will be to finish the September race in 45 minutes, at the most. But if I stay with my friends I think they may slow me down, they haven’t really been running and smoke, so we’ll see about that. I’m nervous about this race, but excited as well.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Keeping it going 8/24/10

I went to kickboxing for lunch and I really felt like I should apologize to my instructor, I was just dragging today. I have no good reason for it, just excuses and I didn’t even want any of them to pass my lips. I just want to do it and do it well. I had that inner struggle with the fat chick inside of me who wants to quit and eat the pizza my department ordered (bastards). But I kept going and granted I didn’t feel 100% the sweat pouring from my body told me otherwise. And an added bonus, the instructor commented that I looked smaller, that gave me an energy spurt of 3.8 seconds, but it was nice to hear. Four hours later and I’m still giddy, I told him I hope so because that’s the reason I come to see him. Take that 2 pound gain.

My eating thus far has been good; I think I really need to not react to my cravings right away. I had my lunch. Kashi Pesto Pasta Primavera and as always (except the sweet and sour thingy, too sweet for me) it was good and I didn’t feel guilty about having a microwave meal. After I finished I had a something sweet craving and I had some water and I just realized I didn’t give in and I forgot all about it. Luckily I have a banana and a mango for when I have snack. The only down side I would say is the coffee I’ve seem to keep having in the morning. I put sweetened condensed milk in it and I enjoy the hell out of it and that keeps me for a bit so I can have a late breakfast so that I have energy (not today though) for my afternoon workouts.

In other good news, at the end of July my sister K had some clothes she was getting rid of and there was a trench like coat she was going to donate and I tried it on, it was a little tight, but I knew I would need a jacket for when the earth isn’t baking the earth on high so I pulled it. I tried it on last night and I think maybe 5 pounds, if that it will fit perfectly. It would be my first non workout stretchy item of clothing that’s a size L. Trippy!


I want to talk to compliments because they a sweet words of encouragement. To date my favorite is “The months have been good to you.” From a friend who last saw me at my heaviest. I’d like to see my sister D’s response, I haven’t seen her in just as long if not longer and she’s always been encouraging and I can only imagine what my dad will say, I haven’t seen him since New Years. He’s always loved me, just not my extra pounds and yeah…that. But I digress, what’s your current favorite compliment. And would it be weird to write it on a post it and put it up by my bathroom mirror? I think we should.

Monday, Monday 8/23/10

I hope I’ve set the tone for my week so far. I haven’t done the math, but I think the eating’s been good, I did have moments of need to shove sweets in my mouth, but I came prepared and I think I’ve done well. I have a bit of anger from a situation that I’m waiting to blow over (I get angry sometimes and it’s not like a scary hulk thing, but it effects me physically, my chest gets tight I want to cry and all of that). So I’ve decided I will harness this negativity in my chest and turn it into fuel for my workouts. I really wish today was a kickboxing day, I’m sure I would be icing my shins right not if it were. It was a boxing day and our instructor did a lot of drills not a lot of hitting but that was fine with me. If I had more time I would have gone for a 5 minute run just for the extra push. Have any of you been able to turn bad moods into workout fuel?

I had a craving for black beans, but I have a hard time accepting the sodium levels in the canned beans, although they are super easy to use. So I soaked some beans and made them last night. I will be trying them for the first time tonight – I hope they’re good. I have vegetarian tendencies so there’s no meat in it except for the beef seasoning (No MSG – that crack is in everything). I just but in colors (red, yellow and green) peppers, grape tomatoes (it’s what we had) and cilantro. And I’ll have that with Trader Joe’s Brown rice and a piece of chicken breast that was marinated in Mojo sauce and grilled on the foremen. I’m getting full just talking about it. Oh crap and avocado, but I think I’m over my daily fat allowance, so maybe no avocado with it tonight. Scratch that just looked it up, I have 16 grams left for the day, but I’m over in protein and carbs (as always). YAY avocado!

I’m also going to try my hand at making some hummus if I don’t get home too late. I just don’t understand why there’s fat in pureed beans. Hopefully I can get away with little to no olive oil and still have something I want to eat. I’ll keep you posted on that.

I am going to the gym again this evening because it’s still a running day. I think I will push myself and do week 5 day 2. I remember when I first did it. I was walking out of the locker room saw the short list – run 8 min, walk 5 run 8 and I remember thinking, sweet I only have to run twice. And I shall think the same again. Just 2 runs and I’m golden, not even going to think about crazy as hell week 5 day 3 run 20…sweet I just have to run once. I did do it once and I was super proud and I can do it again, apparently on Wednesday. The race is coming up so, here we go.
Evening update:

I went running, an 8 minutes run, a 5 minute walk then an 8 minutes run. That second run was a bit harder. I wanted to give up, slow down and press the pause button, but more than that I wanted to it to be true when I wrote in my blog that I DID IT! I DID IT! I think my knee might be a little less than pleased and I have a hot water bottle (kickin’ it old school) on it because I want to go to kickboxing today and participate. I think I may stop by CVS and get a knee brace and see how that works for me because Wednesday is another run day and apparently just a 20 minute run, a run I’m considering skipping and revisiting when I feel 100%. But I did push myself because I was afraid my calories burned and distance would fall short from Fridays and I was not having that. Maybe I’ll push my speed to 5.6 and just keep increasing. I remember when I was barely pushing 4.0.

After my run I popped into the evening yoga class, which makes me feel just really not flexible at all, so by the time I showered and made it home I just wanted to go to bed so I had a sweet potato that was left over from Sunday’s dinner and a slice of Trader Joe’s high fiber whole wheat bread and a tablespoon of low sodium peanut butter and called it a night. So no word on these beans and no hummus was made.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Two Pounds 8/20/10

Weigh in day. So I was up two pounds and two pounds away from being thrown out of my decade. But on the bright side, I was still in my decade, on the gloomy side, I gained 2 pounds. And I did it naked, I actually always weigh myself naked which gets tricky in the locker room, but so far no one has scream “Oh god, why! My eyes! My eyes! There goes my innocence” because I’m stealth like that. And I was going to take a photo, but my phone would add weight so that didn’t happen.

I’m okay with the 2 pounds, but the two pounds, I did go out to eat more than usual and I’m just getting back into the swing of working out again and there’s nothing I can do about those two pounds right now. But next week I can do something about it. I can kick it’s ass and mine and stay on track with my eating and working out.

In other good news I ran again and it was a good run, I felt strong. It was week 5 Day 1 which is 3 five minute runs. My speed for each run was 5.5. I’m still kind of flabbergasted that I am running at all. I remember gym glass and not running the lapse because “I’m never going to have to run a mile in 12 minutes, I’m pretty sure that will not be a requirement for my future career.” While my logic was sound, it was also lazy, but I did show promise, I did run 3 laps one day and a sticker for the fourth lap because I tried. Just wow, I run. I do need to try to run outside, I’ve been keeping it treadmill steady since the beginning except for the race for the cure. Although it’s been hella hot in the DC Metro area for some time now, I know I haven’t seriously attempted a non gym workout since I got overwhelmed in Potomac Mills and nearly sprinted from one end to the other to leave.

I leave you with the photo of my workout summary.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I've missed it

So far this week has gone not according to plan, but well. Despite my intentions, I got on the scale and holy center of gravity, I stayed in 22x’s, I was 226! I am amazed and not trusting that those pounds won’t sneak up on me at some point this week, but for now I am happy. I am almost out of this decade you guys! (not sure who I’m talking to, I think I’m 2 of my 3 followers) My Monday two a day did not happen nor did a vegetarian meal and there was alcohol and I ate crappy that day with 2 servings of smoked almonds and coffee for the whole day. It wasn’t intentional. I didn’t buy groceries this weekend so I was kind of winging it and I refused to eat anything bad and that left nothing but almonds and that was hard to keep at a low number (you delicious high fat bastards!). And then there was a delayed gym visit.

It’s been two weeks since I’ve been running and Monday was my first day back. I put myself back to week 5 day 1. That first 3 minute run it was good to be back and there was a spring in my step. That 5 minute run hurt and I was breathing hard and the last 5 minute run sucked balls mainly because I thought it was going to be 3 minutes. My breathing was loud and my legs were heavy and I think my shins got tighter with every step. I was able to go mind numb for 30 seconds, but not much longer, oh I was counting down the time like it was my job. But I felt so frickin’ awesome when it was over because I had done it, I finished it and I didn’t give up and trust me there was a lot of quitter talk. I visualized quitter me being dragged by me and then that got heavy and I made quitter me sit on the curb because in my head I’m running the race in September. (Disgust that crazy) I ran mostly at a 5.5 mph pace, but that last 5 minutes I was at 5.0 – 5.2. I’m proud of me. YAY ME!! Okay, I’m done

Today, Tuesday was my first day back for kickboxing, something else my shins love. Also good to be good back there, I missed it. So the drills are things of catholic orphanage evil nun concoctions and they hurt and when you do them you feel like you will die and when it’s over you kinda want more, strange but true. My dinner plans have been cancelled and I think I might get in my 2aday and do some weight training. I’m not the best at doing weight training, but I think I’m going to give lower weights higher reps a go this evening. But I still have the issue of dinner, there’s really nothing in the house that I would feel comfortable eating. I’ve already had a frozen kasha meal and would like to limit my frozen meal intake to no more than 1 a day. Maybe I’ll continue my quest for good sushi in my area. I’m a sucker for spicy tuna rolls. I’ll let you know how this goes.

Another new beginning, Sunday night musings

So it’s the last night of my lazy week. Tomorrow should be an early wake up with an am run with a lunch at La Boxing. Here’s hoping I can get it together. I bought some new workout clothes and am washing my regular ones. With any luck I will have enough to pack for 2 a days for at least six days. And I will try my best to not weigh myself until Saturday between workouts to save myself the horror the last week has done, but I probably will anyway, I’m hardheaded and stubborn.

I like to think of this upcoming week as a recommitment to my new lifestyle. So much has changed so far. I’m a solid 30 pounds lighter than when I started, but like many bloggers I just don’t see it. I mean I sometimes see in a certain outfit or when I notice my clavicle is more pronounced, but day to day, I don’t see it. And a lot of the clothes that I couldn’t fit that were too tight are now too big and my clothing swap pile is growing. There have been two discoveries this weekend, the first is that I can reach my toes better and for longer, I can paint my own toenails comfortable now if I so choose. (I have not chosen to do so as of yet). The second and my favorite, I can comfortable zip up some boots that I was never really able to zip up. One, it’s like getting new shoes, two, I’ve had a lot of stuff that I couldn’t wear. It’s been budget friendly thus far and I would love to get some kind of clothing swap going so that I can continue to not wear baggy clothes.

This week’s challenges:
Birthday dinners and restaurant week: Monday is a birthday dinner, Wednesday is a restaurant week dinner and Friday is a crab crack. I think for tomorrow I will attempt a 2 a day and order vegetarian at the restaurant. The birthday girl is a vegetarian of sorts so I’m sure there will be some dishes and I think I will ask the waiter if half of my food could be packed up for me right away, so it will have to be something I can have for lunch as well. Actually I think that will be my plan for the other two meals, but on Friday I will eat very low sodium and at least 2 bananas, I’m sure there will be tons of sodium on those crabs.

I’m sure many of you have gotten compliments along your weight loss journey and I’m not sure if it’s because of who gave me the complement, but I’ve gotten my favorite one the other day. “The months (we hadn’t seen each other in months and it was before I started this) have been good to you” Please share your favorites or your stand outs.

08/11/10 Update

Well, I'm just getting fancy with the blogg titles. Stomach totally made me pay by the way. And I continued to have stomach issues; my body was assaulted with things it did not like. I’m guessing a bad combo of raw veggies and dairy. So I’ve been a lazy sack of bones this week and I’ve been revealing in it. My Achill’s tendon was sore for most of the week and my knee still had that weird sore spot. So I decided to bench myself. I tried to watch my eating, but I didn’t track anything really. So I refuse to weigh myself again until the 20th and I’m okay with that. I’ve been reading some (a lot) of weight loss blogs and they have riled me up to get back to my running and blogging. I will probably get internet in my home soon. I never bothered with it before because there are so many places it’s free and I’m afraid I’ll be on the internet to all hours of the morning. But I think I can set limits for myself and keep them. So that will make blogging easier.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I still win

The wedding was lovely and the bride was gorgeous and unique and that made it all the more special. I fought myself into the high waisted panty spanxs, love those things and wore the new jewel toned dress. It wasn’t the dress to make one regret the poor handling of me, but I think it would have had the same effect if he was evening there. Which was kind of a relief, I wasn’t on guard just had a great time. I don’t think of it as wasted time, but a really good motivator and I’m proud of how far I’ve come since March, but I really want to be in Onesville for my birthday in December , even if my current behavior says otherwise.

So this week, has not gone as well as it could have and to save my soul, I will not weigh myself this week at all. Why you ask? I last worked out Friday. I had the spinach pasta I bought at the road side fruit stand (good lord I love road side peaches and plums) with spaghetti sauce and meat balls with a slice of Texas toast with cheese, thankfully it but me in such a stupor I couldn’t move to get a second helping. Today started off with forgetting to pay someone and making my boss look not so great. And then I was asked did I bring lunch, I had a plum a peach a nectarine and a yellow tomato with fresh ground pepper and sea salt, and some veggie sticks. I ordered a #302, shrimp with snow peas and I ate the rice. And it was good and I couldn’t stop eating it, I’m sure there was crack sprinkled on it. THEN I needed something sweet and I ate the fortune cookie and that only enraged the sweet toothed beast and I ate a cereal bar which I shouldn’t even be in possession of. And then I had 10 jelly Bellies which is funny because that’s all I’m going to get. But I have since calmed down, until…

I have dinner plans tonight at a Korean BBQ place. I’m just not eating anymore rice today period. Maybe my lunch will stay with me and I won’t be that hungry. I need to make those steps to get back into the swing of things. It’s so easy to stop the process completely, but an uphill battle to start it up again. If it was easy, it would be done.

So I will enjoy my dinner and my companions and recommit to myself in the morning and pray my stomach doesn’t realize what I did to it and make me pay tonight.

Monday, August 2, 2010

I did it…AGAIN!!!

I have migrated to the 22X’s again, 228.5. Second time’s the charm right? I really don’t want to cross that threshold again. I didn’t work out at all this weekend and I had brunch complete with walnut brandy pancakes and a bloody Mary. But I did outlet shop on Saturday and I wore my running shoes because I was going to zip through that mall. It’s far and I hardly ever go so I wanted to hit up every store I could for some deals and some deals I got. I purchased a new dress for the wedding and you know what, it’s gorgeous, I love it and I look good in it. So what if it’s not the other dress, I’m wearing pants that I use to not be able to wear with underwear they were so tight and I think this might be the last time I can wear them because they are baggy and look bad, so there.

I think I’m back in it, I went to LA Boxing for their noon boxing class, I was able to keep up with the drills, but I did go to the bathroom on the first part of the push up section. I feel good, except for my heels and I’m happy I did it. Now to get back to this running thing, the race is still 9/25 and I think the time I have to beat is 50 minutes from the race for the cure.

It’s the evening and I’m wavering on going to the gym for my 5k training and I don’t know why. My clothes are already there and I’ve done it before. But the lure of some couch sitting is calling me. But who am I kidding, I didn’t come to this side of 230 to stop now, did I? NO! Hell NO! Get thee to the treadmill. Okay, I think I’ve rallied.