I am disappointed and in a bit of a funk

So Friday I cracked while making the squash and had sunflower seed kernels and then movie theater popcorn at the movies. I thought I was getting back on track on Saturday, I went to Zumba with T and my upper inner thighs have never hurt like this before. It was a good work out and I was in there jumping around and the few times I looked at myself in the mirror (the instructor made me, I did a few times before and it was less than a pleasant experience for me) I looked better than I remembered. I’m sure cinchy on the compliments today. After the gym I meet up with a friend and had Pho with a serving size of noodles, I was disappointed and happy at the same time, portion control. We did a double feature of the lovely Ms Portman. I just had to see Black Swan again, so good and the second time around you catch some things you miss the first go around. “No Strings Attached” could have been worse. There’s just something about Ashton Kutcher that I don’t get and don’t like, it’s something in the maw area. And my jaded ass laughed at the “endearing “ and cheesy parts. I might just be mad at love because I don’t have it, but I know when I became full on jaded about love stories in movies “You complete me”, that’s when it happened for me. Anyway there was no snacking at the movies which was great, but we did stop at a stop at a little French bistro because it was about 7 degrees and we were by the water walking uphill. We split brie and spicy lamb sausages and we each had the onion soup, not the best watching my figure food, but so very comforting. And yes, there was bread, no butter. Io then sat in horrid traffic and went straight to bed.

I had random dreams about the boy I want and woke up all types of frustrated at that situation and but I didn’t eat my emotions, but I could have, instead I ran errands. I may have eaten some of my emotions for dinner, beef burgers (I did have to talk my sister in to making them a bit smaller, I got smaller buns on purpose) with homemade baked fries.

Now it’s Monday and I woke up late and unprepared for it because I was watching football on Sunday and not doing what I had to do. We had a birthday lunch from a BBQ place and I ended up canceling my order because it wouldn’t be healthy and after I got rid of the bad stuff I was left with a 9 dollar plate of lettuce and canned diced tomatoes, but I did have cake. It was ice cream cake and I think that’s where everything went downhill. It was blood in the water for me and I went into a feeding frenzy. My gallbladder is currently teaching me a lesson. Here’s why
-6 cookies made with splenda, I want to say justify this with how small they were, but once you eat 6, I mean, come on, that’s 6 fucking cookies!
-Handful of pretzel M&Ms and I have man hands
-fun size snickers and a Hersey kiss because it was there

The sad part is I was going to then skip the gym and have a hamburger for dinner. I decided I need to blog this out when I made that plan. It’s a horrible plan because I have to get back up now and not wait until later or in the morning. Because then I’ll have hours to slide further down this slippery slope. Now I have to face the scale (it is my weigh in day) with all the decisions I’ve made.

So I am off to the elliptical and no yoga, I have homework and reading I really need to do for class tomorrow and maybe I’ll feel like procrastinating with a follow up post.