With this being the first weekend of my return I was hoping to get to the gym, but that didn’t happen nor did I count my calories like I should have. But I did avoid the fried chicken my sister made for dinner on Friday, also avoided it on Saturday for lunch. I had 4 French fries when we were out running errands instead of ordering anything, I waited it out for a better option, my mashed potatoes and a banana did the trick. Instead of pizza I made a pita pizza which was just wonderful. All in all I made good choices, I just didn’t record them, so my statement can’t be validated, tricksie no?
But I do have some good news, it’s a secret and I haven’t said this out loud to anyone…I went up the steps at least twice today and there wasn’t that loud popping sound coming from my knee! I’m cautiously excited about the idea of my knee being sound free! I might be running in time for my surgery, oh what timing, but whatever. How exciting! Tomorrows Monday and it’ll be more cardio to get me back in the game and recording my food intake. I almost can’t wait.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
In My Head
Fat Girl In My Head (FGIMH): I don’t want to go to the gym at all, it’s late and we’re still at work, we should just go home.
Me Trying To Be Good (MTTBG): Sounds good, but we have the weekend off so I think we’re going to burn 500 calories
FGIMH: That sounds just awful. We can order some food and go home and watch some TIVO!
MTTBG: That does sound nice, how about we go for at least 30 minutes and we’ll call it a night?
FGIMH: Ugh, I just don’t want any part o the gym, I want to take those pain meds and lay the fuck down! NOWWWWAH!!
MTTBG: I really hate it when you whine. We’re at the gym and look how tight this outfit is, that’s a lot of camel toe.
FGIMH: You should do something about that.
MTTBG: No shit that’s why we’re here, we’ll go for 30 minutes and see if we can’t go a little longer, it’ll only be about 15 more minutes. You want your cake and smaller body too and that just ain’t gonna happen.
FGIMH: My mouth hurts
MTTBG: That’s okay, we won’ be doing any mouth exercises.
FGIMH: You’re such an asshole!
MTTBG: Well, since I'm an asshole, let's just do the 500 and call it a night...after some planks.
Me Trying To Be Good (MTTBG): Sounds good, but we have the weekend off so I think we’re going to burn 500 calories
FGIMH: That sounds just awful. We can order some food and go home and watch some TIVO!
MTTBG: That does sound nice, how about we go for at least 30 minutes and we’ll call it a night?
FGIMH: Ugh, I just don’t want any part o the gym, I want to take those pain meds and lay the fuck down! NOWWWWAH!!
MTTBG: I really hate it when you whine. We’re at the gym and look how tight this outfit is, that’s a lot of camel toe.
FGIMH: You should do something about that.
MTTBG: No shit that’s why we’re here, we’ll go for 30 minutes and see if we can’t go a little longer, it’ll only be about 15 more minutes. You want your cake and smaller body too and that just ain’t gonna happen.
FGIMH: My mouth hurts
MTTBG: That’s okay, we won’ be doing any mouth exercises.
FGIMH: You’re such an asshole!
MTTBG: Well, since I'm an asshole, let's just do the 500 and call it a night...after some planks.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Ooooouccchaaaahhh…uuuh!
So I went in for part 2 of my root canal. Just so you know, it’s not a 1 parter, no sir. I have one maybe two more appointments, but seriously at this point I wish they had just taken the tooth. It’s ALL the way in the back and a hygienist (not at my current dentist) thought they were my wisdom teeth. I must admit that error did not make me feel comforted, but I’m no longer there because they don’t accept my insurance. So this afternoon they cleaned out the roots and sweet lord in heaven that hurt like a sonofabitch. And again I started to cry, this crying thing is new, like being cold, I blame the weight loss. I started after the numbing and right as I was reclined, but I did warn him. Sweet assistant wiped away my tears the way a nurse would wipe the sweat from a doctor’s brow. I tried to go to my happy place which turned out to be me dancing salsa, but like I say, that shit hurt. So much for solids this weekend, oh well.
Oh, I had Pho and a summer roll and water, but man was it good, I got a small so although I felt cheated by the amount I got, calorie and fat wise I was happy there was at best a cup and a half of those heavenly vermicelli noodles.
Despite my mouth pain I’m going to go burn my 500 today and do some arms and abs. Always abs, I’m hoping once I lose my belly weight I will find that I have an eight pack under there. LOL
I think that’s all I got for today, my mouth hurts, I cried like a baby (throughout the whole appointment, good thing I’m going to be out for my surgery), I’m going to kickass at the gym because I’m not doing the elliptical or crunches with my mouth and I will be drinking my dinner and making a whiskey cocktail.
Oh, I had Pho and a summer roll and water, but man was it good, I got a small so although I felt cheated by the amount I got, calorie and fat wise I was happy there was at best a cup and a half of those heavenly vermicelli noodles.
Despite my mouth pain I’m going to go burn my 500 today and do some arms and abs. Always abs, I’m hoping once I lose my belly weight I will find that I have an eight pack under there. LOL
I think that’s all I got for today, my mouth hurts, I cried like a baby (throughout the whole appointment, good thing I’m going to be out for my surgery), I’m going to kickass at the gym because I’m not doing the elliptical or crunches with my mouth and I will be drinking my dinner and making a whiskey cocktail.
Update from last night
Last night went well. 553 calories burned on the elliptical!
I did an “arms up winner crossing the finish line” when I made it to 500. So I need a solid 40 minutes to get to 500 calories. I did some floor work and stretching afterwards. Crunches, planks (the planks were harder last night) renegade rows and supermans. During the superman is when one of the meaty (by meaty I mean large with muscles, I like meaty) trainers comes over and compliments my form on my yoga pose, the lotus. First I think “oh my gosh he’s meaty” then I think “Is he trying to get a new client?” and then I think “I think this is a sign I should stay for yoga”. He goes into the yoga head stand with his knees bent and goes through some more moves and that big guy sure can move. I was a little smitten, but Yoga was starting and he was putting back my dumbbells for me. (Slight swoon)
So yoga was taught by a woman whose due date was at the very least last week, but I didn’t let that make me feel bad for not being able to do all the poses she did for as long as she did. About half way through the class I felt like I really didn’t like yoga and I wanted it to stop. It was difficult holding the poses, but I contribute that to it being my second workout of the evening and pushed through. During the cool down I almost fell asleep, but the coldness of the room kept me up.
After my long hot delicious shower I dressed in my PJs and headed home. Again it was too late to make the mash potatoes so it was looking like a slim fast night, but I wanted to chew and had cheese and crackers. What can I say, I love my cheese. It was probably for the best because today I’m having Pho, either with my cousin who I suspect made these lunch plan with me last night after a few cocktails and will either not remember or be able to come out for lunch. Or I’m having it with a friend/ex-boss, either way, I’m having it and I’m having it good.
This weekend I need to get to this measuring and picture taking business. I’ll ask my sister or someone to take them for me; maybe my cousin and I can take hers. I also think I’m going to move my weigh in day to Monday and I guess I’ll go back to my gym scale since that’s the one I’ve been using. And perhaps cutting off food by a certain time. If I don’t go to the gym in the evening I think my cut off will be 7.
I did an “arms up winner crossing the finish line” when I made it to 500. So I need a solid 40 minutes to get to 500 calories. I did some floor work and stretching afterwards. Crunches, planks (the planks were harder last night) renegade rows and supermans. During the superman is when one of the meaty (by meaty I mean large with muscles, I like meaty) trainers comes over and compliments my form on my yoga pose, the lotus. First I think “oh my gosh he’s meaty” then I think “Is he trying to get a new client?” and then I think “I think this is a sign I should stay for yoga”. He goes into the yoga head stand with his knees bent and goes through some more moves and that big guy sure can move. I was a little smitten, but Yoga was starting and he was putting back my dumbbells for me. (Slight swoon)
So yoga was taught by a woman whose due date was at the very least last week, but I didn’t let that make me feel bad for not being able to do all the poses she did for as long as she did. About half way through the class I felt like I really didn’t like yoga and I wanted it to stop. It was difficult holding the poses, but I contribute that to it being my second workout of the evening and pushed through. During the cool down I almost fell asleep, but the coldness of the room kept me up.
After my long hot delicious shower I dressed in my PJs and headed home. Again it was too late to make the mash potatoes so it was looking like a slim fast night, but I wanted to chew and had cheese and crackers. What can I say, I love my cheese. It was probably for the best because today I’m having Pho, either with my cousin who I suspect made these lunch plan with me last night after a few cocktails and will either not remember or be able to come out for lunch. Or I’m having it with a friend/ex-boss, either way, I’m having it and I’m having it good.
This weekend I need to get to this measuring and picture taking business. I’ll ask my sister or someone to take them for me; maybe my cousin and I can take hers. I also think I’m going to move my weigh in day to Monday and I guess I’ll go back to my gym scale since that’s the one I’ve been using. And perhaps cutting off food by a certain time. If I don’t go to the gym in the evening I think my cut off will be 7.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
There’s no backing out
So I lost a follower and I must admit, I’m hurt, but I’m sure they felt I left them and 2. I’m doing this for me.
Last night I did boil the potatoes, but it was too late to get into making that so I had a kasha meal. (Dear kashi, I need coupons and an endorsement deal) I had been craving tacos all day and they had a new Spicy black bean enchilada and it was just the fix I need. I followed it up with 190g of simply potato sweet potatoes; it was yummy, just good and sweet enough. All good, yes? NO! I broke, while cleaning my room I had 2 chocolates, the hazelnut ones with the nuts on it, yeah, those. All wasn’t lost; I was still under my calorie allotment because of the workout.
It’s now 6pm and my desk looks worse than I would like and I feel the determination to go to the gym wavering. But I have to go; I need those 500 calories so that I can meet my calorie goal and not be all hungry and cranky. I packed my PJs (men’s PJs from target clearance, wish it was my boyfriends, but I don’t have one and that’s a whole other topic) so that I will be ready for bed and not random over eating when I get home.
Today I haven’t been bad, although cheese and crackers is not a balanced breakfast. I used the scale I bought for the office so I could know how much of that creamy badness I was eating and I have to say an ounce of cheese is a reasonable amount of cheese. I had yet another kasha entre, chicken Florentine again and snacked on some “hummus” I made. It was just chickpeas with some lemon juice and ground red pepper, a banana (have you heard about this banana infection going around?) and a yogurt that I got mad at. I was a little miffed because it was 170 calories. I saw 99% fat free and didn’t look at the calories. My friend told me to “Hush up and eat it” but added that it should only be 100 calories.
Okay, no more lollygagging, let me clear up this mess so I can get my 500 calories burnt.
Last night I did boil the potatoes, but it was too late to get into making that so I had a kasha meal. (Dear kashi, I need coupons and an endorsement deal) I had been craving tacos all day and they had a new Spicy black bean enchilada and it was just the fix I need. I followed it up with 190g of simply potato sweet potatoes; it was yummy, just good and sweet enough. All good, yes? NO! I broke, while cleaning my room I had 2 chocolates, the hazelnut ones with the nuts on it, yeah, those. All wasn’t lost; I was still under my calorie allotment because of the workout.
It’s now 6pm and my desk looks worse than I would like and I feel the determination to go to the gym wavering. But I have to go; I need those 500 calories so that I can meet my calorie goal and not be all hungry and cranky. I packed my PJs (men’s PJs from target clearance, wish it was my boyfriends, but I don’t have one and that’s a whole other topic) so that I will be ready for bed and not random over eating when I get home.
Today I haven’t been bad, although cheese and crackers is not a balanced breakfast. I used the scale I bought for the office so I could know how much of that creamy badness I was eating and I have to say an ounce of cheese is a reasonable amount of cheese. I had yet another kasha entre, chicken Florentine again and snacked on some “hummus” I made. It was just chickpeas with some lemon juice and ground red pepper, a banana (have you heard about this banana infection going around?) and a yogurt that I got mad at. I was a little miffed because it was 170 calories. I saw 99% fat free and didn’t look at the calories. My friend told me to “Hush up and eat it” but added that it should only be 100 calories.
Okay, no more lollygagging, let me clear up this mess so I can get my 500 calories burnt.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
It feels better than good, it feels right
It’s a little after 5 and I have a ton of work to do, but I want to get this posted first. I had a slimfast for breakfast because chewing was not going to happen, I think I slept on my face wrong and my jaw hurt. In reality my pain meds probably wore off and I felt my mouth more. Either way I was okay with slowly slipping 6 fat grams of chocolate royale. I avoided the candy table and moved one of the bowls to the kitchen, you know, share the wealth/girth. There was no mid morning snack, but there was some tea because I’m less likely to sweeten tea.
Then I heard the familiar jingle of my boss’s keys and way soon out the door to my gym. I switched the inserts from one pair of running shoes to another and now they both suck. I need new workout shoes. So I climb onto old faithful and start up the music. My goal is going to be to burn at least 500 calories. I fell short by 28 calories, see:
So I stretched and got back on for almost 3 more minutes to make my 500.
Crazy? Perhaps. Determined? Yes! I want my 500 calories. If I can eat my way up to 236 I can burn 28, well, 31 more calories.
I wanted to do some abs and I wanted to test myself so I did some renegade rows with 10 pound dumbbells. I did 20 sets of right push up left push up. I can do it on my knees and it still hurts, to do them, not my knees. Then I did 25 crunches, I’m not a fan of full on sit-ups and felt like a slacker so I made myself do some planks and not on my knee planks, forearm and toes planks. 20 seconds on the front, 10 on each side alternating 2 reps and then 20 on the front finishing up with 10 seconds of moving my legs in and out. a total of 70 seconds. Then I just did every stretch I could remember and then remembered flutter kicks and did a minute of those. Phew! I was all sweaty and ready for my shower. As I was leaving the lady who was busting her abs with an exercise ball and medicine ball said “good job out there, you’re strong!” I said thank you and said I would try her ab moves next. That compliment boosted my workout high.
I came back to the office and decided to chew because I was HUNGRY and that slimfast would be gone in a gulp. I swear it took me 3 hours to eat that kashi meal. The meal of the day was the coconut lemongrass chicken, quite nice and I always seem to put hot sauce on it, not sure why, it just smells like it should be there even though it’s fine without it.
I’ve since had a yogurt and a babybel light cheese and I’m feeling good about today. Dinner’s a bit tricky, I’m thinking about making mashed red potatoes with a light cream of broccoli soup as a substitute for milk and butter. That shouldn’t be too high in fat or calories, but carbs yes. I just want something substantial and creamy.
Oh as for my weight, the scale at the gym, the one I’ve been using says 228, how can there be an 8 pound difference? Does this ever happen to anyone else? Are scales like mirrors? Some are really nice while others can go fuck themselves?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Sorry, I fell in the lake
The title is an inside joke my newly refound friend told me some years back, its used when someone just up and dissapears.
I apparently took the month of December off. Well, it started with Thanksgiving and then it was my birthday which I celebrated for a few weeks. And then there were the company parties and friend gatherings. Oh, and the lead accountant lady just had to buy all of the different kind of M&Ms that were holiday colored. I swear the pretzel M&M bowl was filling itself up from the bottom. On Christmas Eve they got Bob Evan’s biscuit and gravy and grit at which point I began to distrust my co-workers. They had worn down my resistance and ere know fattening me up to either eat or sacrifice to the end of the year accounting gods. Either way, those cookies and candy need to go away. The popcorn tin as well.
One of my best friends put together one hell of a birthday outing for me in recognition of my new life style which was really awesome. We started out with golf, some putting and then just hitting the ball on the driving range I think is what it’s called. Then there was tennis. Good lord. That was hilarious. Part of the adjacent court was dubbed the “Stephanie Zone” because I just couldn’t keep the ball on our court and a few times not even in the tennis court itself. During this birthday day extravaganza I spoke with a personal trainer who reiterated what my doctor said about my knee, rest it for a while, but jeez a while is a long time. AND there was some personal training and it felt good to punch again. I think I’m going to go back to LA Boxing soon with my limitations and do as much as I can. Then there was a massage, I forget how awesome those are until I get one. Followed by a lovely dinner, best part I was home by 10! And I had the house to myself; even though I was going to bed I took my pants off at the front door because I could.
Christmas was fine; I’m kind of an orphan. I can’t travel to see my dad for Christmas and when he comes I’m too busy to actually do anything and I have no kids and no real reason to get up all early to open presents. While my sister and nee live here, my niece went to her dad’s for the holidays and I decided that I was going to Spa World where you get naked and hot and wet…that sounds dirty, but if you click here you’ll see what I mean. I still haven’t gotten any services done, but I did spend a full hour and a half in their gym and I mean mugged all the runners on the treadmill. My chest was tight with jealousy. Weird, I remember not understanding runners now I envy their pain free click free strides. But I broke a good sweat and rewarded myself with a shower and some yoga breathing in the many different pumice rooms.
This New Year’s Eve was a first for me. I went out to a fancy dinner with some friends and kept my wits about me enough to safely get myself home and remember the evening. YAY! I didn’t start the New Year hung over or sluttly, go me! I was able to get out of the house and have dim sum for brunch and hang out with my friends. I’m not sure when it happened, but I made the decision to socialize as much as I could this holiday season. It would have been so easy to be lulled into a sulky lonely place and just shut down and wallow, but how long would it take to climb out of that? I don’t have time to detox from the dark allure of depression AND food.
Oh food, it got a hold of me and we’re going through a breakup. I now weigh a solid 236. I said goodbye to fried on the first. My plan was to get back in the gym daily eat 1200 calories. But I think I’m going to ease into a bit more like I did in the beginning, I have to build up my stamina and detox. I haven’t really gotten back into the swing of it, which is one of the reasons I’m back on this blog, it keeps me honest and a bit more in line, but most of all I miss the group feeling, like a support group all my own.
As for my health, my gallbladder operation is set for 2/18 an hour before the ass crack of dawn. I’m the first surgery of the day and should be home the same day. I have been able to keep my calories in check mainly because I couldn’t really eat due to a toothache that started on the first. Thank goodness I picked up those slimfasts (for a quick meal when it’s late and I don’t feel like eating); I had one for breakfast after my first root canal. That’s right a root canal and I cried before she even put the bib on me. I just get freaked out at the thought of mouth pain and mouth pain there was, but I got through it and 12 hours later just the corner of my mouth is really bothering me. Of course I’m on pain meds and a touch of whiskey and avoid biting down on that side at all.
All in all I’m okay and back. Tomorrow is Wednesday and I’m going to measure myself and get those numbers up and get my 236 pounds to the gym tomorrow. It will take me some time to catch up on all my blogs. How did everyone fare? Better than I, I hope.
I apparently took the month of December off. Well, it started with Thanksgiving and then it was my birthday which I celebrated for a few weeks. And then there were the company parties and friend gatherings. Oh, and the lead accountant lady just had to buy all of the different kind of M&Ms that were holiday colored. I swear the pretzel M&M bowl was filling itself up from the bottom. On Christmas Eve they got Bob Evan’s biscuit and gravy and grit at which point I began to distrust my co-workers. They had worn down my resistance and ere know fattening me up to either eat or sacrifice to the end of the year accounting gods. Either way, those cookies and candy need to go away. The popcorn tin as well.
One of my best friends put together one hell of a birthday outing for me in recognition of my new life style which was really awesome. We started out with golf, some putting and then just hitting the ball on the driving range I think is what it’s called. Then there was tennis. Good lord. That was hilarious. Part of the adjacent court was dubbed the “Stephanie Zone” because I just couldn’t keep the ball on our court and a few times not even in the tennis court itself. During this birthday day extravaganza I spoke with a personal trainer who reiterated what my doctor said about my knee, rest it for a while, but jeez a while is a long time. AND there was some personal training and it felt good to punch again. I think I’m going to go back to LA Boxing soon with my limitations and do as much as I can. Then there was a massage, I forget how awesome those are until I get one. Followed by a lovely dinner, best part I was home by 10! And I had the house to myself; even though I was going to bed I took my pants off at the front door because I could.
Christmas was fine; I’m kind of an orphan. I can’t travel to see my dad for Christmas and when he comes I’m too busy to actually do anything and I have no kids and no real reason to get up all early to open presents. While my sister and nee live here, my niece went to her dad’s for the holidays and I decided that I was going to Spa World where you get naked and hot and wet…that sounds dirty, but if you click here you’ll see what I mean. I still haven’t gotten any services done, but I did spend a full hour and a half in their gym and I mean mugged all the runners on the treadmill. My chest was tight with jealousy. Weird, I remember not understanding runners now I envy their pain free click free strides. But I broke a good sweat and rewarded myself with a shower and some yoga breathing in the many different pumice rooms.
This New Year’s Eve was a first for me. I went out to a fancy dinner with some friends and kept my wits about me enough to safely get myself home and remember the evening. YAY! I didn’t start the New Year hung over or sluttly, go me! I was able to get out of the house and have dim sum for brunch and hang out with my friends. I’m not sure when it happened, but I made the decision to socialize as much as I could this holiday season. It would have been so easy to be lulled into a sulky lonely place and just shut down and wallow, but how long would it take to climb out of that? I don’t have time to detox from the dark allure of depression AND food.
Oh food, it got a hold of me and we’re going through a breakup. I now weigh a solid 236. I said goodbye to fried on the first. My plan was to get back in the gym daily eat 1200 calories. But I think I’m going to ease into a bit more like I did in the beginning, I have to build up my stamina and detox. I haven’t really gotten back into the swing of it, which is one of the reasons I’m back on this blog, it keeps me honest and a bit more in line, but most of all I miss the group feeling, like a support group all my own.
As for my health, my gallbladder operation is set for 2/18 an hour before the ass crack of dawn. I’m the first surgery of the day and should be home the same day. I have been able to keep my calories in check mainly because I couldn’t really eat due to a toothache that started on the first. Thank goodness I picked up those slimfasts (for a quick meal when it’s late and I don’t feel like eating); I had one for breakfast after my first root canal. That’s right a root canal and I cried before she even put the bib on me. I just get freaked out at the thought of mouth pain and mouth pain there was, but I got through it and 12 hours later just the corner of my mouth is really bothering me. Of course I’m on pain meds and a touch of whiskey and avoid biting down on that side at all.
All in all I’m okay and back. Tomorrow is Wednesday and I’m going to measure myself and get those numbers up and get my 236 pounds to the gym tomorrow. It will take me some time to catch up on all my blogs. How did everyone fare? Better than I, I hope.
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